Just While We're Waiting
Yes, it’s me again. This week’s Visiting Scrivener, Justin Heazlewood, has been delayed at the airport, so, while we’re waiting, here are a few of my rejected column ideas from this week.
Hey, what’s with this mad weather?
Hey, what’s with The 7PM Project?
Hey, what’s with Twitter?
Hey, what time is TV Burp on this week?
Crunch time for the Hawks? (not convincing)
Schapelle Corby: Insane but still hot!
The Writers Festival: Not enough Sonya Hartnett?
The Age ‘Sunday Life’: Not enough Mia Freedman?
Ricky Ponting and Matt Tilley: One and the same? Ashes loss actually an elaborate ‘Gotcha'?
Telstra: Their new two-dollar-twenty fee just for paying their fucking bill can suck my cock! (too angry?)
Bushfire bunkers: How many DVDs in each? And Blu-ray or standard def? Sure, Blu-ray looks better, but standard def has more titles. You may be down there a long time. Think about it.
Michael Jackson murder: My money’s on Tito.
Whatever happened to Whatever Happened to That Guy??
Man who shot dog with nail gun, the new ‘Chk Chk Boom Girl’? Max Markson says, ‘Yes!’
Plus-size model says: ‘Does my bum look even bigger in this?’
Quentin Tarantino announces ‘Magnifisent Fukwits’.
Tara Moss slaughters seven and wears their skins as pants-suit while ‘researching’ new novel.
Hang on, now it’s just turned into fake headlines. Where’s Heazlewood?
Tony Martin is the Melbourne-based author of ‘A Nest of Occasionals’ and ‘Lolly Scramble’. Podcasts of his radio show ‘Get This’ are still available for free download at iTunes (type in: ‘Get This: Richard Marsland Lives’). He is currently directing new episodes of ABCTV's ‘The Librarians’.
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